Sometimes simple lessons of life are learned from simple expressions of children. The year was 1988. It happened at meal time when my second son was about five years old. The meal being served was tacos. Since I was the parent at hand, I asked a simple question about how he might like his tacos prepared. His simple response went like this: "I don't want mine right now. First, I want to see how you fix yours, Daddy."
At that moment, a rather profound, but maybe simple, thought flashed into my mind like neon lights. The power of influence. Nobody lives to themselves and nobody dies to themselves. Not even Dad when fixing tacos.
However limited or extended our contact is with somebody else, we are constantly exerting an influence, whether good or bad. By what we do and say, by how we act and react , we are impressing or depressing other people. Since all of life, including unconscious influence, will be judged by God, we ought to be concerned about our influence. That should be a given.
It is entirely possible for our actions to be misread, and our influence can be negative even though our intentions were good. Someone may hear a snatch of our innocent conversation and jump to a wrong conclusion, while the whole conversation would have created a different impression and response. So, influence should really be weighed by the whole scope of our lives.
This does not mean that brief contacts are unimportant at all. Much of our life is filled with fleeting associations with others. Whoever it is that we meet, however brief or extended the meet may be, we should aim at being genuinely Christian.
It should be remembered that influence is not the same as image. It's a fact that some people are concerned about their friendships because they want to project some kind of an acceptable image. Image is just a misnomer because all it's good for is to show something that a person is really not. Trying to sell yourself as a bar of gold when you're just a block of brass doesn't work very well in the long run. Somebody will eventually figure it out.
It is a lesson that needs to be learned. We should never aim to gull people in order to take advantage of them. We should never pretend to be better Christians than we really are. We should never pretend to be more holy than we really are. What we should be doing is actually quite simple. In all the going-ons with the "somebodies" in our life, we should be accepting, loving, understanding, forgiving and encouraging people to find "the Way." I say that only then does influence really make a difference.
And to think - a simple lesson from a five year old son getting ready to watch his Dad fix tacos - reminded me again about the power of influence. It's stayed with me all these years. That's the way life is - little things are important, even influence. But the end result of influence is never small or insignificant. It lends itself to every relationship of our lives - yes, even when preparing tacos around the kitchen table at family meal time.
It's not about image - it's about influence. And yes, you can believe that every time I fix and eat tacos, I think about influence and wonder who's watching me. I might just be having some influence on someone for life - in ways that I don't even know.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Hard Part of Christian
Come to think of it, there are a few things I'm really good at. Getting along with people, for example. Writing, for another. Brewing a gallon of really good tea, sweetened with sugar (my wife calls it Missouri tea). I am not, apparently, good at being a Christian.
I hope you'll just go ahead and read the rest of this. It will be worth it. I promise. Because I'm writing this for all of you out there who agree with me that it's hard being a Christian sometimes - especially with all the slop and burp that may be going on in your little world right now - whether it's in your home, on the job, at school, in some relationship, or yes, even at church.
Face it. Being a Christian is hard. If you're a stand-up comedian, the only thing you're expected to do is crack people up while they eat their mozzarella sticks, and you sip your favorite drink. If you're a newspaper reporter, it's your job to report the facts (or make up the facts, whichever is easier at the moment). If you're a blogger, it's your job to just vent the way you feel at the moment and accept the comments people make about your venting, right or wrong, no judgments made, just accept it. If you're a Christian, though, you have to not just play the role but live the part. That's what makes it hard sometimes.
Yes, I know that some people are genuinely good at being a Christian, and some people fake their way through. I know that some people radiate joy and peace, and others have a make believe smile slapped across their face. But I also know that most people can tell the difference and are turned off by the latter.
I guess sometimes I feel like being a Christian is a lot like an inmate going before the parole board. Yes, I know that's going to be a very unpopular view, but allow me the luxury of being brutally honest. You may have robbed a bank at gunpoint one day in your life 15 years ago, but then you went through a jail house conversion, started a jail house ministry, started counseling other inmates with drug problems, and you became an exemplary inmate. But when you sit there before the parole board, the positive changes you made in your life are forgotten. All that matters is that you robbed a bank 15 years ago, and even though people say you're being judged on your more recent good deeds, the truth is, you can sense you're really being judged as a bank robber.
And so, welcome to faith. It can seem that way sometimes. You say the wrong thing, respond the wrong way, act before you think, judge before you discern, et cetera, et cetera. Fact is, you messed up and people called you to the carpet about it. But then, after working on yourself and more importantly allowing the Lord to re-shape your heart, you truly feel that you are still being judged according to the past mess ups in life.
I'd say it's frustrating for a whole lot of people out there. People believe whatever they want to believe, and no amount of pleading or whining will change their minds. Actually, that usually makes it worse.
Maybe we should all have some honest reflection once in a while and just simply say, I am not Christian enough. Mature enough. Calm enough. Whatever enough.
I have come to believe that when all the "enoughs" of our life are said and done we can all be incredibly thankful to have a God who forgives and moves on, who doesn't hold our screw-ups and our mess-ups over our heads and use them to judge us later. We are white as snow and He knows sincerity when He sees it. We mess up. And He teaches us, if we are open we learn and grow, and we move forward.
No parole board. No judge or jury. Just forgiveness with a hope and a future. We move forward, we are never rejected, we are never turned away. Our God deals with us directly. He doesn't string us along only to let us down in the end.
I think that God is a whole lot cooler than Christians. Which is basically why I keep trying to follow Him - despite the mess-ups and flubs in my life (and yes, you have them, too). It's why I keep trying to follow Him - and not His followers.
I'd say that we're all still trying to figure this life out. None of us has any hard, fast answers. The only answers we have lie in Him. We make mistakes, judge people, act immaturely at times (though I'm believing I have far less of this immaturish-ness than I used to have). I do it, you do it.
But our God never does. One person in this entire universe and beyond never screws up, never messes up, never flubs up - and that's why I get up every morning, take a deep breath, say a thankful prayer to my Creator and my Father, and give it another shot. Nobody else in this world is really worth the effort.
So take my word for it -being a Christian is hard, but it's always, absolutely, and unequivocally worth every day giving it another shot. Do it, for His name's sake - and for your own sake, too. It's worth it. Every bit.
I hope you'll just go ahead and read the rest of this. It will be worth it. I promise. Because I'm writing this for all of you out there who agree with me that it's hard being a Christian sometimes - especially with all the slop and burp that may be going on in your little world right now - whether it's in your home, on the job, at school, in some relationship, or yes, even at church.
Face it. Being a Christian is hard. If you're a stand-up comedian, the only thing you're expected to do is crack people up while they eat their mozzarella sticks, and you sip your favorite drink. If you're a newspaper reporter, it's your job to report the facts (or make up the facts, whichever is easier at the moment). If you're a blogger, it's your job to just vent the way you feel at the moment and accept the comments people make about your venting, right or wrong, no judgments made, just accept it. If you're a Christian, though, you have to not just play the role but live the part. That's what makes it hard sometimes.
Yes, I know that some people are genuinely good at being a Christian, and some people fake their way through. I know that some people radiate joy and peace, and others have a make believe smile slapped across their face. But I also know that most people can tell the difference and are turned off by the latter.
I guess sometimes I feel like being a Christian is a lot like an inmate going before the parole board. Yes, I know that's going to be a very unpopular view, but allow me the luxury of being brutally honest. You may have robbed a bank at gunpoint one day in your life 15 years ago, but then you went through a jail house conversion, started a jail house ministry, started counseling other inmates with drug problems, and you became an exemplary inmate. But when you sit there before the parole board, the positive changes you made in your life are forgotten. All that matters is that you robbed a bank 15 years ago, and even though people say you're being judged on your more recent good deeds, the truth is, you can sense you're really being judged as a bank robber.
And so, welcome to faith. It can seem that way sometimes. You say the wrong thing, respond the wrong way, act before you think, judge before you discern, et cetera, et cetera. Fact is, you messed up and people called you to the carpet about it. But then, after working on yourself and more importantly allowing the Lord to re-shape your heart, you truly feel that you are still being judged according to the past mess ups in life.
I'd say it's frustrating for a whole lot of people out there. People believe whatever they want to believe, and no amount of pleading or whining will change their minds. Actually, that usually makes it worse.
Maybe we should all have some honest reflection once in a while and just simply say, I am not Christian enough. Mature enough. Calm enough. Whatever enough.
I have come to believe that when all the "enoughs" of our life are said and done we can all be incredibly thankful to have a God who forgives and moves on, who doesn't hold our screw-ups and our mess-ups over our heads and use them to judge us later. We are white as snow and He knows sincerity when He sees it. We mess up. And He teaches us, if we are open we learn and grow, and we move forward.
No parole board. No judge or jury. Just forgiveness with a hope and a future. We move forward, we are never rejected, we are never turned away. Our God deals with us directly. He doesn't string us along only to let us down in the end.
I think that God is a whole lot cooler than Christians. Which is basically why I keep trying to follow Him - despite the mess-ups and flubs in my life (and yes, you have them, too). It's why I keep trying to follow Him - and not His followers.
I'd say that we're all still trying to figure this life out. None of us has any hard, fast answers. The only answers we have lie in Him. We make mistakes, judge people, act immaturely at times (though I'm believing I have far less of this immaturish-ness than I used to have). I do it, you do it.
But our God never does. One person in this entire universe and beyond never screws up, never messes up, never flubs up - and that's why I get up every morning, take a deep breath, say a thankful prayer to my Creator and my Father, and give it another shot. Nobody else in this world is really worth the effort.
So take my word for it -being a Christian is hard, but it's always, absolutely, and unequivocally worth every day giving it another shot. Do it, for His name's sake - and for your own sake, too. It's worth it. Every bit.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
On Being Nice
Most of us have smiled at and some of us have echoed the prayer of the little girl: "O Lord, make all the bad people good, and all the good people nice." It is a pleasant bit of whimsy that makes me think about two important things.
The purpose of the Creator-God is to make bad people good. Only God can ultimately do this. Not only does God want to make bad people good; He wants to make good people nice. In either case, it takes the cooperation of the one needing the goodness or the niceness. Bad people do not become good until they see that they are bad and need help and repent of their badness. Good people do not become nice until they see the winsomeness and beauty of the Christ who went about doing good.
Face it. There are some good people who are absolutely not very nice at all. Their disposition has more in common with the pickle jar than with the honeycomb. They are pure but prickly, clean but critical, straight but strident, good but not good for anything in particular.
Some of these good people have dour dispositions by nature; some have soured under adversities and problems; some have climbed to the judgment seat and play the role of the Creator; some have drifted into the habit of contentiousness and talk more about what they are against than what they are for.
Let it be known that followers of "the Way" suffer far less from opposition and scorn of those without than they do from the influence of those who profess everything from the lids of the sacred Book, who find themselves yet quarrelsome, cynical, unkind, and very much devoid of the sweet loveliness of the One who taught us all to "love one another."
Whatever else we want to believe about it, people size us up far less on the basis of what we say or how we look than they do by what they feel exuding from our spirit.
To be nice does not mean to be prim and prissy; neither does it mean to be affable and permissive. However, it does mean to be motivated by true thoughtfulness and caring concern. This cannot be faked. It does mean to be possible to live with, rather than to live without. It does mean everything that is summed up in the word and the deed that makes the world go 'round - "love."
Come to think of it - it is really a needed prayer: O Lord, make all the bad people good, and all the good people nice."
The purpose of the Creator-God is to make bad people good. Only God can ultimately do this. Not only does God want to make bad people good; He wants to make good people nice. In either case, it takes the cooperation of the one needing the goodness or the niceness. Bad people do not become good until they see that they are bad and need help and repent of their badness. Good people do not become nice until they see the winsomeness and beauty of the Christ who went about doing good.
Face it. There are some good people who are absolutely not very nice at all. Their disposition has more in common with the pickle jar than with the honeycomb. They are pure but prickly, clean but critical, straight but strident, good but not good for anything in particular.
Some of these good people have dour dispositions by nature; some have soured under adversities and problems; some have climbed to the judgment seat and play the role of the Creator; some have drifted into the habit of contentiousness and talk more about what they are against than what they are for.
Let it be known that followers of "the Way" suffer far less from opposition and scorn of those without than they do from the influence of those who profess everything from the lids of the sacred Book, who find themselves yet quarrelsome, cynical, unkind, and very much devoid of the sweet loveliness of the One who taught us all to "love one another."
Whatever else we want to believe about it, people size us up far less on the basis of what we say or how we look than they do by what they feel exuding from our spirit.
To be nice does not mean to be prim and prissy; neither does it mean to be affable and permissive. However, it does mean to be motivated by true thoughtfulness and caring concern. This cannot be faked. It does mean to be possible to live with, rather than to live without. It does mean everything that is summed up in the word and the deed that makes the world go 'round - "love."
Come to think of it - it is really a needed prayer: O Lord, make all the bad people good, and all the good people nice."
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